Fighting ennui.

So much to do, so little time.  So many positive things in my life, but so many things that I haven’t yet accomplished (and may never get to).

I find myself fighting these feelings of inadequacy, mixed with feelings of detachment with the work I am doing and my own feelings of happiness.  Nothing serious, really, but I am finding it harder to relax, harder to simply enjoy time without being “busy”.

What makes me happy?  Is it just when I am diverted enough to forget that time is passing for a little while?

I find it is harder and harder to enjoy things like playing video games (like I used to) without feeling guilty about pausing on the endless to-do lists I need to get to. We need to have some pleasure in our lives too after all, but I just seem to have any even heightened awareness of the scarcity of time lately.

And really, this is all #firstworldproblems of the highest degree, I am not fighting for my life, I am not worried where my next meal is coming from.  Just wondering if this is the advent of true “adulthood” – is this the way people feel when they get a good solid grasp on how fast time is really flying?

Here’s hoping this is just a passing phase. Until next time!


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